As we grow and develop, we will encounter situations where we feel worried, nervous and sometimes even scared. Individuals deal with the demands on them by drawing on a range of coping strategies. Some strategies are more productive than others. Learning a range of positive coping skills will allow you to develop and practise skills that will enable you to cope with future changes and challenges.
Positive self-talk is a key strategy for coping with negative thoughts, emotions, and events. Resilience research shows that use of positive self-talk is associated with greater persistence in the face of challenge, whereas negative self-talk is associated with higher levels of distress and worry. Positive self-talk can be learnt or strengthened through practice.
Positive self-talk fits into the positive emotions area of the BHPS wellbeing model. I use many words to express my emotions and I can use positive thinking skills to improve how I feel.
We all have times when we feel negative emotions like sad, angry, jealous, lonely, frustrated or bored. However we all have many coping strategies, or things we do that help us to manage. We do things to calm ourselves down or to cheer ourselves up. Firstly, it’s helpful to name your emotion and speak to an adult if you don’t think you can manage your feeling on your own.
Here is a list of just some of the strategies you can use to help yourself to feel better:
- Practise breathing – use an exercise such as in, 2, 3, hold, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4, 5
- Do some exercise such as running around outside, jumping on a trampoline
- Read a book
- Listen to some of your favourite music
- Draw a picture
- Play a game
- Do some yoga
- Go on Smiling Minds and do some mindfulness
- Organise a play with a friend
- Do something that makes you laugh such as reading ajoke book or watching something funny on TV
Positive self talk means speaking kindly to yourself. You could ask yourself; “What would you say to a friend who had this problem?” You’re likely to have some kind, supportive words which you should use when thinking about yourself.
“The Most Magnificent Thing” by Ashley Spires is a great example of a person using positive self talk to persist in the face of challenge. Have a look at this stop motion animation put together by Elmwood School in Ottawa (Canada).
I love this book about a girl looking in the mirror and seeing a version of herself that she likes.